Phoenix Reborn

First selfie post-transplant

    I wanted to write so many times, but I find my brain isn’t braining 100%.  Before I speak of my journey post heart/lung transplant, let me first say that I’m high AF 24/7.  I take 41 pills and 2 shots a day including 4 intense pain medications, so I’m kinda flying high at all times lol.  As long as I’m on top of my pain meds, I’m usually doing well and can function somewhat normally.  I definitely don’t have access to all of myself though as I did before (this will get better over time), but I’m at peace right now with where I'm at and happy chilling in the Queendom Raidathon.  It’s so nice to see everyone and hang out with friends.  Thank you everyone who is participating, whether it’s streaming, lurking, chatting, organizing, promoting, or contributing.  I am beyond grateful. 💓💓💓

Enjoying my first ice cream

            Ok, so first and foremost, I MADE IT!  I can’t believe the operation was a success! 😂😀😭😭😭😀😂  A heart/lung transplant sounds so intense and daunting because it is, but my hospital is known for doing these transplants and having very high success rates for them.  I’m so grateful.  I can’t tell you how incredible this is for me.  To see my O2 levels at 99% and heart rate being normal without any aid.  I was in tears so many times seeing this.  It feels so surreal.  I can walk outside and uphill and feel fine, something that was impossible for me pre-transplant.  I can walk in the cold and still be warm.  My bestie, Allo, came to visit me and she usually runs much warmer than me pre-transplant, but her hands were colder and here I was warming HER hands with mine, which was pretty crazy for us.  We just looked at each other incredulously laughing.  It was nuts.  My mom had said this is a miracle.  And even though I’m not religious, it is very hard to disagree with her.  This all does feel like a miracle.

The Castro District is so beautiful 😍

    My journey after transplant was a steep uphill battle.  I really wanted to leave the hospital and begin rehabilitating myself in a more normal and comfortable setting.  I had so much support in the hospital and most did a great job in getting me to where I needed to be, but idk.  I had a great need to move on.  There were many benchmarks I needed to make before discharge.  Sitting in a chair, walking well and far, being able to swallow without choking, and being able to cough correctly to protect my lungs.  My left vocal cord was paralyzed after transplant, so I couldn’t talk well let alone swallow well.  I got some procedures done to fix this and my voice right now is almost normal.  Walking was actually the easiest thing for me out of all these benchmarks.  I think it’s because pre-transplant, I knew how to pace myself.  All my life, I was very in tune with my body and breathing and knew how to pace myself so my body felt it had enough oxygen.  Post-transplant, I just made sure my breath was in sync with the pace I was walking.  They told me other people who walked would walk too fast for their bodies because they were not used to pacing themselves.  I walked pretty quickly and far; everyone was very impressed.  Apparently, my legs are very strong.  After I passed these crazy swallow tests that involved swallowing different liquids and foods in front of a live x-ray, I was pretty much ready for discharge.  I was so happy.  From the day of transplant to discharge, I was in the hospital recovering for 19 days.  I think I was the fastest recovering heart/lung transplant patient they ever had.

Live a fabulous life

   I’m at the Airbnb right now.  I had said before, but just to recap, I can’t go home just yet.  The hospital requires me to be no more than 30 minutes away from them so I can make the plethora of appointments they have for me every week for the next 6 weeks.  Since I live over 30 minutes away, they require me to find housing, so here I am in an Airbnb for the next 4 weeks now (2 weeks had passed) going to all these appointments.  But I can’t tell you how much happier I am here than in the hospital, feeling some normalcy.  My job here besides going to the appointments is to take all my meds and go out and walk everyday to expand and exercise my lungs.  It’s been fun going out, walking in the park, getting ice cream, taking the bus to other neighborhoods, thrifting, perusing new streets and shops, all while walking at a normal pace, not in danger of my oxygen desaturating, not in danger of putting my heart at risk, not having my fingers and lips turn blue.  Again, so surreal.

Choccy in his feels 😟

            I have 4 more weeks here and I’m counting down the days I can go home.  I miss my cats so much.  My housemates send me pics of them and I’m always in tears.  I hope they remember me.  I haven’t seen them since early December.  Choccy is going nuts without me.  Last time I left for a long time, he held a grudge for a while before he forgave me lol.  I’m sure he will do the same when I see him.

My mother is my love, my 
rock and my strength

    I’ve spent Christmas and New Years in the hospital and now spending my birthday at this Airbnb.  I’ve felt so offbase, but I’m grateful Space and my Mom are here and my housemates who I think of as family have been coming by.  This and reconnecting with friends online and on Twich has been replenishing my soul.  

The road takes me to beautiful places

            I do feel like a Phoenix Reborn.  It’s hard to explain, but I feel so different and also the same.  Not just the physical, but there are other things inside, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that feel maybe not changed, but shifted or grown or something.  Again, I don’t really have the words.  But I’m still recovering.  One day at a time brings something new and builds a new strength, builds a new connection, builds a new truth.  I’m just here telling myself to keep to the path.  Keep walking, one foot after the other.  Keep breathing, one breath at a time.

Get yourself a Hot Cookie

            When I go to my appointments, my doctors tell me I'm doing very well. Just keep doing what I'm doing, keep expanding my lungs, take my meds, and manage my energy. We're doing this and soon we'll be able to go hiking and walk on the beach again like I always dreamed.

Saaaaur qyoooooot!

            I wanted to thank everyone who has been on this journey with me.  Anyone reading this blog, keeping up with my sparse social media posts.  It means the world to me that people are listening to my story.  I feel so less alone.  It makes me teary just thinking about people reading and walking this journey with me.  Thank you so much.  And those of you who have supported me with donos.  I am beyond grateful.  Thank you for contributing to my peace of mind and recovery.  It has helped beyond what I can express.

Ellie and Miyu, momma will be home soon 😭

    I’m going to be in the Queendom Raidathon all weekend.  I hope I see you there!  And if you’re not on Twitch, feel free o send me a DM or text.  I always love to hear from old friends.  And if you’re interested in donating any money to my medical bill fund, the GoFundMe info is below.

Queen Chanleen's GoFundMe - link

    Help me pay for some unforseen medical and expenses that will help me immensely towards my road to recovery

Queendom Raidathon Info