Red Wine Supernova

Appointment after appointment
after appointment . . .

               Everytime I play the waiting game, I feel like I freeze my life.  I feel like I freeze my motivation, my obligation, and my goals.  It’s hard to make decisions when so much is unknown.  About anything really.   The big question on everyone’s mind is WHEN.  When am I going to be put on the list?  And once on the list, approximately when will I get a donor?  When will the transplant be . . .  When will my life end . . . or completely change.  We don’t want to say the quiet part out loud.  I don’t want to say it.  But I guess, who is that helping?  It should be said . . . at least once.

Crab roll at the Apple Festival

I finished all my pre-transplant check list of To-Do’s, except for one more thing.  Once that is done, the doctors are asking me if I’m ready.  They told me I won’t just be put on the list; that I should be admitted to the hospital while on the list to wait for a donor.  They asked me if I’d be ready next week . . .  It’s so sudden.  I am gagged.  I told them I would speak to my cardiologist first to hear what he recommends and what is possible first before making a decision.  I’ll keep everyone posted.

Aerith and Zack
gracing my heart

My apprehension aside, I have been doing mostly well.  I’ve been playing games and hanging out with friends, bought my first Costco membership and went to an Apple Festival.  I didn’t want to exert myself at the festival, so I was carted around in a wheelchair designed to go over the uneven terrain of the Apple Festival.  The wheels were huge and bubbly and it felt like riding a big off-road bubble lol, so it was a lot of fun.

My dreamy
sunkissed vibes

Right now, my Playlist consists of Chappell Roan (I’m obsessed), Charli xcx, Lady Gaga and Hemlocke Springs.  I titled it Brat Summer bc, I mean, it is lol.  Women are so beautiful and magical.  It’s hard not to love us.  I think I’m most drawn to women’s ability to be creative within themselves.  We have flourished the ability to check into our vibes and externalize them in the form of fashion, make up, art, crafts, cooking . . . etc.  It’s just a beautiful thing to see and I love talking vibes with my gurlies.

Fairy car dreams

         Usually if we are trip planning, sharing fashion or make up looks and finds, inspiring each other, trying new restaurants and recipes, sharing our nerdom vibes of cute things from cat earrings to cute Aerith and Zack magical art prints.  Women are such an inspiration to me and I’ll always leave a big part of my life to honor and celebrate us.